Tag Archive for: mental health for carers

The 4 Most Likely Health Outcomes for Carers Who Work Too Much - Helen Gruber CoachingHelen Gruber Coaching

The 4 Most Likely Health Outcomes for Carers Who Work Too Much

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When working in care, the health outcomes of overworking or ‘giving too much’ can be severe.

“I was trapped by the delusion that if I had ANYTHING left in the tank, I should be giving it to someone else, most certainly not myself! It wasn’t until I was seen walking across the car park at work, looking drunk, that it all changed. That was a turning point for me in my caring career – because what happened after that was no joke!”

It was May 2015, when someone spotted me ‘looking drunk’ walking across the car park. Turns out I wasn’t actually drunk, I had labyrinthitis, an infection I contracted. It was one of many viruses that had tried to floor me over the years leading up to this breakdown point.

With 5 months off work, and hundreds of hours of CBT, coaching, exercise, mindfulness, yoga, walking, and consciously relaxing, I was on the mend.

Giving too much to your job can have some serious consequences on your mental and physical health.

I wish I knew then some of the tools I know now, to take better care of myself before it all fell apart. Here are four common health outcomes of overworking, and some tips & tools to prevent them:

1. Stress

Taking on too many responsibilities at work can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed and constantly under pressure. To combat stress, try to prioritise your tasks and delegate some of them if possible. Also, make sure to take regular breaks throughout the day to give your mind and body a rest. I often use deep-breathing to regulate my nervous system. Just duck to the loo and take a minute or 3 to take 5 deep slow breaths. I talk you through it on my audio – head here to download it.

2. Depression

Spending all of your time and energy on your job can make it difficult to find enjoyment in other areas of your life. Depression is easier to prevent than cure, so make sure to set aside time for hobbies, friends, and activities that you enjoy. One of my favourite coaching tools I teach is the One of many™ “Soft Play” date. You might laugh, but the idea is to take the “little girl” in you out on a date – I have seen grown women squeal as they swing on the swings at the kids playground! There is nothing like some unbridled joy to bring you back to life, and get things in perspective!

3. Anxiety

The constant demands of work can make it hard to relax, even when you’re not at your actual workplace. Anxiety is one of the most common health outcomes of overworking care-takers. To reduce anxiety, try practising relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. (Again try my audio here).

4. Burnout

Working too much for too long can lead to physical and emotional exhaustion. To prevent burnout, make sure to set boundaries for yourself, like leaving work at a specific time each day. Also, be sure to get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise regularly to keep your energy levels up. But also, ensure you approach the challenges of life with the RIGHT energy. ‘What are you talking about?’ I hear you ask? Well, there are actually 5 women’s energy types we can use for different situations. So often the women I work with have become burnt out because they are not using the empowering energies, but instead the disempowering ones. If you would like to know what you’re using to get through the day, you can do your own profile here.

The most important thing to remember is that you are not defined by your job. Taking care of yourself is just as important, actually MORE important, than taking care of your work responsibilities. By creating better habits, approaching work challenges with the right energy and setting boundaries, you can prevent the negative health outcomes of overworking and achieve a better work-life balance. I know, because I did it. And I would love to help you do it too!

If you would like some of the tools I talk about in this article, I would love to connect with you via my contact page. Please feel free to ask for them in a message to me!

Thanks for reading my blog, as a carer for close to 20 years, and having experienced burnout, I have created a coaching program for women just like me! I love helping carers remain in the industry they love, by taking better care of themselves. Self care works, just ask me!

The Pressure of Responsibility: Why Women in Care Take on So Much Extra “Invisible Load” - Helen Gruber CoachingHelen Gruber Coaching

The Pressure of Responsibility: Why Women in Care Take on So Much Extra “Invisible Load”

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As women in the care industry, our jobs, by nature require us to take on a lot of responsibility. Perhaps if that is where it ended, we would be doing ok. But the problem is, we also have lives outside of work! We have family, children, and often get the responsibility of taking care of our parents too. Why? Because we are good at it! People are used to us doing it!

This “invisible load,” where women take on a lot of unseen tasks and responsibilities that are not recognised or appreciated by others, is exactly that – invisible to others.

All too often, carer’s get stuck in a ‘martyr’ cycle, where our generous, loving spirit, gets taken advantage of, and before we know it we are stuck in a disempowering cycle. And there is no relief at home, and there is no relief in the workplace!

While you might feel stuck and that there is no way to break the cycle, you have to remember that taking on too much responsibility can have negative effects on our health and relationships.

Constant stress and burnout from taking on too much can lead to physical and mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. These issues are far easier to prevent than to treat. I had to have a full 5 months off work, just to get back to ‘normal’. But things were never the same.

Taking on too much responsibility can also negatively impact our relationships, as we may not have enough time or energy for our loved ones. I’m sure you’ve felt bitchy or cranky, or just so exhausted that you have literally nothing left to give your family. There are graceful ways of asking for help – it takes a little replenishment first, then a simple “ask for help” framework I have to follow (send me a message if you’d like it).

We often feel guilty for not doing more – even when we know we are doing enough, it’s often the futile search of perfection that can keep us trapped in the guilt cycle.

It is okay to ask for help and support, and to prioritise ourselves without feeling guilty or selfish.

Here are my top 3 “release the responsibility pressure” tips, for women in care:

  1. Find the confidence to ask for support when you need it, whether it be from friends, family, or professionals.
  2. Learn to say “no” gracefully, without feeling guilty or ashamed.
  3. Prioritise yourself and your needs, without feeling guilty or selfish. This can include taking time for self-care, setting boundaries, and making sure to make time for things that bring you joy and fulfilment.

If you need help with the “how” on any of those three suggestions, please send me a message on my contact page, and I will happily send you some of my frameworks to follow!

It is important to recognise and acknowledge the pressure of responsibility that women in care often face, and the negative effects it can have on our health and relationships. However, by finding the confidence to ask for support, learning to say no gracefully, and prioritising ourselves, we can start to take steps towards a more balanced and healthy life as carers.